Insert Weird Foreboding Prophecy Here
by AsterOfTheMoon
Summary: The Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society: A Sue is in the Percy Jackson, warping canon and dating Nico! Fortunately, we have someone to take care of THAT mess...


(By the way, there is a canon Juniper, so let's not mix her up, m'kay?)

* * *

For once, it seemed everything was right with Camp Half-Blood.

Many new campers were coming per day, and cabins were multiplying like rabbits. Chiron had managed to get the rights for a plot of land from some dryads.

Contrary to what he had believed before, Nico was accepted at camp, and often had a lot of fun with the Hermes kids…playing poker. (A/N: Fail.) He had a new hobby of randomly scaring people by creeping behind them and saying, "BOO!" in really loud and startling noises. Being a child of Hades, it couldn't be too surprising that he knew how to engineer the element of surprise.

On (somewhat of) an unrelated note, Beckendorf and Silena had both made their way to Elysium, and instead of trying for the three times and the Isles of the Blest, they found comfort in each other and decided that it was best if they were sure they could forever be together. Of course, that didn't really help the relationship between Aphrodite and Hephaestus…

Luke also made it to Elysium, and, like Annabeth said, he was a perfectionist. As soon as he found out he'd made it (and by quite an exceedingly close vote), he immediately applied for rebirth, and was currently reincarnated as some politician's son. However, right before his rebirth, there were two things he had in mind: Thalia and Annabeth. He had lost both of them, but for some reason he didn't feel too bad.

Thalia and the other Hunters had marvelous adventures hunting strange creatures. Still, Thalia occasionally got bored of her eternal girl-group, and sometimes would go have a pizza with Percy and the others.

The Stoll brothers were as mischievous as ever, and Mr. D was as sadistic as ever. Tyson was doing extremely well as a Cyclops general…and yes, his battle cry was still "peanut butter". Clarisse and Chris Rodriguez became the most well-known couple around. Grover and Juniper were doing well, Grover blushing at everything Juniper said to him. Grover had managed to rally a whole practical empire of satyr-protectors…not to mention how many dryads were jealous of Juniper.

Rachel had easily accepted her new role as the Oracle of Delphi. Instead of the very eccentric cave Apollo had come up with, Chiron instead allowed her to stay at the Big House over the summers. She wasn't too happy with her new school, but she was capable of putting up with it, and thankfully, she never spouted out prophecies until summer. During camp, which she looked forward to as much as Percy, she participated in activities that didn't threaten her life and ate at the everyday feast with whomever she chose (there was no such thing as separate tables anymore because the amount of tables to supply for gods was too large).

Annabeth and Percy were what one would call "silently dating". While neither would admit that they were dating, they did often kiss in beautiful scenes and go out a _lot_. Of course, there was always Rachel's first prophecy, and the quests they had – but in the end they were always laughing. Rachel's prophecy didn't seem like it would be fulfilled in their lifetime, and so they just shrugged it off.

Yes, everything was well with the world…

Until Alyana showed up.

* * *

Her name was Alyana Markerstone, and she came in very dazed and confused, being chased by some monsters. She managed to barely get across the magical borders and fell unconscious.

Percy immediately brought her into the borders. Alyana slowly recovered with nectar and ambrosia, and eventually became strong enough to fight.

She was soon claimed - and the identity of her godly parent was a shock to everyone. She was a daughter of Artemis. Apparently Artemis was sick of being childless and had gotten information from Athena on how to do the brain-child thing.

Alyana was a rapid fighter. She was skilled, perhaps one of the best fighters since Luke or Percy, and was a wonderful archer.

Alyana was soon revealed to be one of the "seven half-bloods" mentioned in Rachel's first prophecy, and was quite willing to fight. As a daughter of Artemis, she had the ability to run quickly and catch beasts, and eventually destroyed the beast the Titans had sent, which had made the sun turn the Titans had sent, fulfilling all aspects of the prophecy.

To Artemis's ire, Alyana had fallen in love with someone: Nico di Angelo. It wasn't long before he began to return feelings for her, too. But Alyana eventually convinced Artemis that men weren't that bad - she would rather die with Nico than become a Hunter of Artemis and watch all her friends grow old and die.

She's such a nice, charming person...it's just so disgusting.

* * *

Kate was banging away on the computer when there was a small beep, and Kate leaned closer to the screen.

Kate balled her fists.

"Tash," said Kate, "you, Emma, Beth, and I all have a settle to score."

I could explain how Tash decided to keep Aster out of her despondency by allowing her to spend some time in the Haruhi fandom (provided she not disturb any plot). I could explain how Tash, Kate, Beth, Harriet, Lauren, and Emma geared up to get their beloved puppy back. I could explain how Tash even stocked up on extra Copyrights to get canon characters to help them. I could explain how the girls quickly skimmed through the books to get an idea of what they were getting into. But that would take up too much space, ne?

"Good luck getting Meggieちゃん back!" said Aster as she walked towards Adrian's computer.

* * *

As soon as they landed in the Percy Jackson fandom, Tash pulled out a Plot Summary, and they all read over the results of the fandom. The six girls looked at the tree, and the golden fleece was draped over it, Peleus the dragon guarding it.

"Mortals can't get in," said Tash. "The borders are protected, so we have two options. Oneshots, which might not work, because they probably won't give us demigod status, or..."

"Or we have to convince someone to let us in," said Kate. "As if that'll be easy."

"Actually, it will be easy," said Harriet. "I had these things prepared for this fandom beforehand..."

It was a water gun and a golden coin.

* * *

"I feel really weird doing this." Tash held the water gun upwards, facing the sun, and a shimmering rainbow appeared.

Kate threw the coin into the rainbow and recited, reading through the Summary, "Er...Iris, O Goddess of the Rainbow...accept my offering..."

Nothing happened.

"You have to say who you want to see," prodded Lauren.

"Someone in Camp Half-Blood who could help us, I suppose?" said Kate.

Suddenly, an image of Percy Jackson appeared in the mist. Kate gulped.

"He's cute..."

Beth intervened. "We need to be let in. We're mortals."

Percy frowned. "I don't know if I should..."

"We need to discuss something, and it involves Alyana Markerstone."

Percy shook his head. "Chiron probably wouldn't...but it involves Alyana...Fine. I, Percy Jackson, give you permission to enter camp."

* * *

"Alyana isn't who you think."

The six agents had been escorted to the Big House by Argus, and were labeled as "mortals who can see through the Mist", whatever that meant. They were now facing Chiron, an irritable Mr. D, Percy, Annabeth, Nico, and Rachel (Alyana had been excluded from the room because "it wasn't best for a delicate soul like her to hear her fate").

"What?" said Nico. "She's done nothing but help us! Even Artemis herself claimed her!"

Thus, the agents found themselves in a quandary. They could not convince anyone that Alyana was bad news (except Dionysus, who believed any demigod was bad news), until Tash finally put her improvisational and Greek Mythology skills to work.

"The thing is, that's not Alyana," said Tash. "The real Alyana has been kidnapped by Proteus, a sea god who has the ability to change shape into anyone or anything. Proteus has been hired by Atlas."

Tash wondered if such a long-winded and far-fetched story would hold. Then Chiron said,

"It is true that Proteus has recently been hostile. But can you prove it?"

"Easy," said Kate. "If we attack 'him', he'll turn violent immediately."

* * *

Kate's prediction was true. As soon as Alyana saw the Society, her face turned redder than Willowe's hair.

"You - "

Percy took note of this and charged Alyana. Having ADHD - erm, "battle reflexes" - allowed him to notice the hostility Alyana was displaying.

Before Percy could get there, Alyana had whipped out a spear and had begun to fight with Percy.

"After her!" said Clarisse. "Cream her! In the name of Ares!"

Alyana gave a malicious smile. Then she pulled out a quiver and a crossbow.

"I call the Hunters of Artemis!"

Immediately a ton of girls wearing quivers and bows appeared out of nowhere.

"Crap," said Tash. "Thalia."

Thalia, daughter of Zeus, was leading the Hunters, calling the others to fight in the name of Alyana.

Percy looked entirely confused.

Immediately, the immortal soldiers of Artemis charged.

"Hey!"

A voice came out of nowhere. Suddenly the Hunters found themselves trapped behind an invisible barrier.

"Get off her!"

"Tashちん!"

And Tash saw her two favorite and least favorite people arrive.

* * *

Aster had finished with the Haruhi fandom by venting her frustrations at Nagato Yuki, who was familiar with fandom distortion anyway.

Adrian was just trying to help.

"Yah!" Aster (in fae form) drove back the others with a few blasts of lunar energy. "Hey, you people call Artemis goddess of the moon...Selene pwns Artemis anytime!"

"_Librarian Art 5: A Through Z!"_

Immediately twenty-five copies of the Encyclopedia Britannica pummeled Alyana in the face. Wait, twenty-five?

"Aster!" said Adrian, after counting. "Did you forget to put back the "D" encyclopedia again?"

"ごめん!"

Alyana laughed maniacally after emerging from the stack of books.

"You can't defeat - "

"Librarian Secret Art: BOOT TO THE HEAD!"

*ssssch-fwump*

"I swear, Adrian君, that works every time," said Aster, as Alyana clutched her face, proclaiming, "You booted me in the head!"

Alyana growled.

"Hurricane Wind!" yelled Aster (with a rather thick Japanese accent), waving her staff and sending bolts of wind mixed with water.

"Your attacks have names?" said Beth, who was fighting a Hunter girl.

"I just say that for fun," said Aster.

But the Society members were clearly at a loss. Alyana was still stronger than the attacks Aster and Adrian used, and Tash and her group clearly couldn't keep away a horde of mind-controlled immortal teenage girls.

Then their savior came -

"WOOF!"

* * *

No matter how cute a puppy is, there is nothing more terrifying than Meg on the loose.

Meg ran out of Cabin Eight, a chain band still attached to her back right leg (although the band was clearly broken). With the instinctual desire to protect her "pack leader", Meg bared her teeth and started biting all the Hunters, who screamed in pain.

"I survive all these battles, and Hera's statue," said Thalia, "and I get defeated by a - stupid - dog!"

"Meg?" said Emma.

"Meg?"

"Meg?"

"Meg?"

"Meggieちゃん!"

Meg was able to keep Alyana in one place for a few seconds by biting her in the leg. A few seconds wasn't much...

...but it certainly was enough for Adrian to slap a Prohibitor on her wrist.

* * *

After Aster had blabbed some excuse to Percy, Tash escorted Alyana out.

Kate had tried to ask Percy out, but had come face-to-face with a very angry Annabeth.

* * *

"She failed again."

The Lieutenant Mary Sue was not happy.

She was the ruler of all Mary Sues, and nothing escaped her notice.

The servant kneeled. "Yes. She is locked up in the Society basement."

Mary Sue shook her head. "I cannot trust anyone anymore...I am fading. Soon I will no longer be Lieutenant. Inform Willowe that I will be stepping down in a week and that she will become Lieutenant."

The servant then spoke. "Lieutenant, Markerstone did retrieve a DNA sample from a Society Agent. If we may use the decoy spy technique used in the Maximum Ride fandom, have a decoy take it down from the inside - "

"A DNA sample?"

The servant held up a small hair.

The Lieutenant took the hair and inspected it.

"This...this is _perfect!"_

_

* * *

_

That night, Tash was sleeping soundly until suddenly something covered her mouth, taking away her ability to scream. She was grabbed and stuffed away into a van. Privately deciding that some crazed fangirls had somehow gotten through and ignored the No-Can-Undo spell, Tash was unable to do anything when she was tied up.

She was forced to take anesthetics every hour. Although she was constantly fed and watered, the anesthetics would keep her conked out continuously so she wouldn't wake up.

The next day, Tash was acting very strangely.

* * *

(Well, there you go. This last refrain was, in fact, inspired by the Max II sequence from Maximum Ride [the second book, I think]. Except this time Tash probably wouldn't be able to escape.

You people do what you want with pseudo-Tash, because even though I do have a plot planned in case nobody continues, I'm sure someone else will come up with something totally more creative.

And yes, pseudo-Tash is officially a Sue.

My next fic is for Maximum Ride, although I won't publish until I know if someone's continuing this or not...)


End file.
